


Night Terrors

by shinytoymercenaries



Series: Blue Bloods [2]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Canon Continuation, Canon-Typical Violence, Hallucinations, M/M, Nightmares, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Felix, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Canon, Slight Canon Divergence, Unintentional Triggering, Updated to reflect canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2015-12-01
Packaged: 2018-05-04 07:52:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5326457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinytoymercenaries/pseuds/shinytoymercenaries
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was nowhere to run if Felix pulled the trigger. He was going to have think fast and keep Felix calm somehow...talking wasn't exactly his specialty.</p><p>//</p><p>(i close my eyes and keep seeing things, but it ain't rainbow waterfalls or sunny liquid dreams)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Night Terrors

**Author's Note:**

> *Part 2 of Blue Bloods, not necessary to read the other parts to understand this one.
> 
> *Not beta read.
> 
> *Felix identifies as nonbinary, uses he/him pronouns.
> 
> *I know next to nothing about Halo other than what is presented in RvB canon, so some liberties have been taken with Halo terminology, etc.

Locus awoke to a weight on his chest.

Normally, he'd immediately panic; a heavy weight on or in his chest meant something was wrong, akin to a sense of dread, and those usually always ran back to Felix or himself. But this was different. All too quickly his half-asleep mind registered the weight as physical, a body. His next impulse was to throw the body off before his would-be attacker could harm him or Felix who should have been lying beside him. But this weight...it was familiar...it was Felix. It wasn't so much the weight he recognized as the body itself.

Almost instantly his mind relaxed, tension that had built up in his body unwinding like a coil as he slowly opened his eyes. The two of them hadn't been asleep that long, and Felix always woke him up if something was wrong; they'd also both agreed to ask consent before doing anything sexual. This could only mean something was indeed very wrong.

What he found was the barrel of a gun pointed at his face right between his eyes. 

He recognized this gun, it was one of many he had hidden around their temporary apartment as a safety measure. It was no secret their paranoia ran high even years after the Great War had ended. Mercenary business was a shaky and dangerous road that left no room for error; any moment, someone could put a hit on you or your partner, find you at your weakest moment, and take you both out. On the whole, he and Felix got along quite well now if their first meeting and subsequent ones during the War were any comparison, so then...why?

“Felix, what are you doing?” his tone was low and dangerous, like it always was when any great of amount of distrust crept up on him. He could feel apprehension traveling through his fingers as they slowly scraped against the bed covers to brace himself, his arms down by his sides and just barely in contact with the flesh of Felix’s thighs. There was nowhere to run if Felix pulled the trigger. He was going to have think fast and keep Felix calm somehow...talking wasn't exactly his specialty.

“Shut up, you. You’re not gonna trick us this time.”

Locus had no earthly idea what Felix could have been talking about, just that it made no sense. Was Felix...sleep-walking? Sleep-talking? Hallucinating? He’d seen something similar happen before but only when the other merc was awake. 

Felix would often disappear from his side for a little too long, an admittedly worrying thing for the both of them, and when Locus would find him, the other merc would be in the throes of a panic attack. Felix’s breathing would be heavy, shallow, his mouth was always covered by one his hands, not too far off from hyperventilating; his eyes were bugged out, bloodshot and filled almost with an impossible amount of terror. Normally they would cripple him so badly he wound up on the floor, using his other free hand to swat away imaginary enemies or to slash his knife through the air. Locus always had to talk him down and disarm him as best he could. It wasn’t something either of them liked to discuss after it happened as Felix thought it showed too much weakness, and Locus...wasn’t quite sure what to say. His own hallucinations and ‘moments’ were just as crippling only he locked up, frozen, silent, wherever he happened to be when it struck. It was usually only Felix’s arms around his waist and the comfort of Felix’s head against his back that eventually stopped this disassociation and brought him back to the real world.

“Felix, put the gun down. Can you see me? ...It’s Locus.”

Even in the darkness of the room, it wasn’t hard to watch as one of Felix’s thumbs reached up to pull back the hammer and cock the gun; his fingernails still painted a dark black color. “Be quiet. I’m not...I’m not gonna lose like last time.” Although his stance with the gun was two-handed, it was becoming shaky and unstable...whatever imaginary foe Felix had found himself up against in that nightmare was obviously getting the upperhand. Locus knew he couldn’t wait any longer.

In a flash, he knocked Felix’s wrists upward and sent the gun flying off balance. He didn’t care where the damn thing landed as long as it wasn’t pointed at him or back at Felix. Felix yelped a cry in response and scrambled off of Locus, effectively twisting out of his grasp and wriggling away; even asleep, Locus had to give Felix credit for his flexibility and lithe nature. With just as much speed, Locus quickly jumped up himself and thought to search for cover, but finding that in a bedroom did him little good. The one bedside table lay on Felix’s side, and there was no way flipping their mattress over would do anything other than get him shot. His only choice was to stand his ground and see what Felix would do.

Felix, who had flailed his way to the other side of the room, snatched the curtain down from a windowsill which instantly poured in moonlight, and finally landed in an empty corner of the room. His back was pressed into it, making his small body look even more diminutive. He was holding the gun, the pistol, in both hands still with the top of the gun nearly pressed against his nose. It wasn’t hard to hear the deep breaths coming from him as pushed away from the wall and brought it back up.

At first, he pointed the gun directly at Locus, causing the man to call his name. Slowly, he shifted his aim just to the left of Locus...then to the right...then back to the middle. Locus could only reason Felix was seeing more enemies than he could handle and couldn’t decide which one to shoot, almost as if he was running low on ammo. Was this some nightmare scenario created by his troubled partner’s mind, or...was this a memory replaying itself out again?

“Felix, this isn’t real. You’re dreaming. You need to stay calm and lower the gun.” Locus had to wonder if Felix could really hear him anymore, so he took a step forward. If he could just grab the gun, then waking Felix would be no problem and this would all be over. Almost instantly, the gun in Felix’s hands snapped back to attention and was pointed at him again, causing him to inadvertently raise his hands slightly in a defensive position.

“You’re not gonna do it, not this time. Locus isn’t gonna let me get hurt. He won’t let me die. Stay back. Do you hear me, stay back!” And with a rush, Felix pulled the trigger. 

Time froze for a good couple of minutes, Felix’s horror-racked yells still bouncing off the walls as they both stood motionless. Locus waited to feel white hot pain somewhere, a sickening wetness as blood began to stain his clothes...but it never came. He played everything back in his mind and realized he hadn’t heard a gunshot, just the ominous click of a trigger.

Across from him stood Felix, soundlessly sobbing as he pitifully clicked the trigger over and over again; the slide of the gun popped back and forth uselessly due to the empty nature of the clip. With a sigh, Locus relaxed his body yet again. Calmly, he walked over to Felix and attempted to take the gun from his hands - an action easier said than done considering Felix still had a death grip it and the minute their hands touched, something sparked within Felix and he refused to relinquish his hold. Felix was surprisingly strong when he wanted to be, and being in this state didn’t seem to deter that. 

“Felix, wake up!” Locus ordered as they continued to struggle over the firearm, Felix continuously thrashing and throwing his tiny weight around as he refused to let go, mumbling something that sounded like ‘no’ over and over again. There was an old saying about not waking sleepwalkers but Felix really hadn’t given him much choice. “Felix, wake up!” he repeated with much more force as he finally pulled the gun out of his squirming hands and threw it on the bed, instantly moving to catch Felix’s wrists in his grasp. 

Felix changed his tune from ‘no’ to ‘let go’, still slightly muffled from his sobbing. He thrashed again violently as he tried to push Locus away, pull his wrists away, to skirt around him. He didn’t get far before Locus grabbed him by the arm and instantly dragged him back, narrowly avoiding getting an elbow to the face as he did so. “Felix, you need to calm down. You’re fine.” Locus reminded as he slid his own arms underneath Felix's shoulders to keep himself from getting hit, and just for good measure, he brought the palms of his hands up behind Felix’s head to keep him still. Felix was going to hate this when he woke up, but Locus decided it was preferable to getting his nose broken; last time had been too close for comfort.

When his thrashing officially proved useless, Felix went boneless and they both sunk to the floor. Felix was still soundlessly sobbing, his small body heaving up and down, as he continued to string together nonsense words and phrases in an attempt to still plead with his nightmare-induced attacker. 

“Felix...can you hear me? You’re fine. You’re not there anymore.” All in all, there were multiple things that made him upset about all of this, but perhaps the most troubling was the fact that he couldn’t even comfort Felix properly. Was anything he was saying getting through to him? Could Felix’s conscience hear him if nothing else? And even so, why couldn’t even think of anything better to say than just ‘you’re fine’? If Felix knew that, they wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place. He felt so...useless.

He could feel the body in his hold begin to relax, the breathing slowly returning to normal, and the whimpering cries becoming almost nonexistent.

“Locus...get off of me.”

Was that a safe thing to do right now? If Felix wanted to, he could easily escape this hold, in fact, Locus had seen him do it on various occasions before. Still, he would comply with it for now. Silently, he unlaced his fingers and moved his hands while simultaneously pulling his arms from underneath Felix’s elbows and finally away altogether.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Don’t let go!” In a flash, Felix had grabbed his right arm and slung it back over his own shoulder, holding it there by the wrist. So…’get off’ didn’t mean ‘let go’ then…Locus brought his left arm up to join the right, forcing a makeshift embrace in their awkward position. Felix was still slightly heaving, his body liberally soaked with sweat from fear, but the most worrisome thing of all was the fact that he was silent. This is normally where Felix’s flippant attitude would take over; he’d push Locus away, demand that he was alright, maybe even laugh it off, then act like nothing was wrong or had even happened in the first place. 

They stayed like that for a few moments with Felix attempting to catch his breath. Locus rested his head against Felix’s dark hair, shifting after only a few seconds to move down and lightly kiss Felix’s shoulder; the strap of his orange tank top had slipped down, leaving the skin and intricate tattoo there exposed.

Without warning, Felix pushed away and got to his feet. Locus didn't fight him or deny him, merely followed suit with his actions until Felix violently threw the bedroom door open and left.

Hazarding a glance at the clock, Locus knew neither of them would get back to sleep despite the early hour. Should he follow? It would only serve to make Felix mad, but Locus couldn't be sure this attack was entirely over. Moving quickly, he dressed himself and went after Felix, walking through the unfamiliar apartment that belonged to their client. Currently, they were planetside and about to commit an operation soon; out of…’kindness’, he supposed, their client had given them use of his secluded home in a mountainous region of the planet. Locus couldn't have even imagined the cost of a place like this, but Felix had been ecstatic enough...it was such 180 from how he had been a few minutes ago, Locus remarked, remembering the almost child-like happiness when they'd arrived here yesterday.

When he got to the living room, he found the sliding glass door that led to the outdoor-patio ajar. Just so, he could see outside enough to spy Felix in one of the chairs that sat around the table, practically slumped forward as if he were dead with one arm outstretched, a lit cigarette between his pale fingers.

Locus slipped outside quietly as he could, an action he knew was pointless without his camo unit; Felix could always sense him out of armor.

“Fuck off, Locus. I don't wanna ‘ _talk_ ’ about it. Besides, you suck at that.” His voice was muffled with his head in his arms.

“Fine, we don't have to talk. Just tell me what happened.”

“Yeah I don't want to.” Felix raised his head up along with the cigarette, blowing out smoke as flippantly as his attitude. “It's not a big deal.” Just like he’d thought, Felix’s routine was beginning to surface.

“You were sleepwalking with a gun.”

“And?” Felix spun around in his seat, angrily turning his eyes up, “You don't look injured to me and I sure as fuck know your gun isn't busted. So come on Locus, you got a better reason in there?”

“Felix,” he growled, the telltale tone of no longer wanting to put up with Felix’s antics. At this, Felix glared back at him before finally throwing up his arms in exasperation and turning around in his seat with his back towards him.

“You really want to know? You want to know what I was dreaming about that fucking bad?” he asked, carefully laying his cigarette across the top of the ash tray rather than snubbing it out. With a clatter, he shot out of the chair which sent it toppling over, and stomped over to Locus to stare him down. “Fine, I'll tell you, Locus. Do you remember the temple reconnaissance mission?”

That was...how could he forget that? He couldn’t forget it even if he tried. There was just too much...why was it so loud all of sudden? There was a dull roar raging in his ears and he tried to bring up his hands up to cover his ears only to find the familiar weight of an assault rifle in them.

Locus looked down...he was holding a gun. Not just that, he was in full armor...the armor he’d worn during the Great War, the tan-colored suit that marked him as something other than a soldier and a weapon. But why...why was he seeing this? Why was he back here?

“Did you hear me, solider?!”

That wasn’t Felix’s voice, still, he recognized it all the same. It was the C.O. they’d been assigned after the dregs of other squads had been mashed together; too many operations and too many lost soldiers caused them to make do with what they had. In fact, this mission was just supposed to have been simple reconnaissance, it wasn’t supposed to have ended like that...oh god, that meant he was going to have to see everything play out all over again, the same way Felix’s had in his own nightmare. It wasn’t that he was seeing Felix’s nightmare, it was one they both shared.

“Soldier, if you don’t aim your gun at the enemy and pull the trigger-”

There was a horrible screeching sound, a Sangheili war cry, that reverberated all around the temple walls as his squad stood almost frozen with fear as they looked around the open room. He could see Felix, tried to warn him of the impending danger, but couldn’t open his mouth. He was a prisoner in his own body - a veritable robot reenacting his movements like some kind of actor in a play.

Without warning, two members of their squad fell, head shots from some kind of weapon, that sent the remaining ones scattering and scrambling for cover including himself. He found solid cover and a good vantage point behind a generously sized pillar, cocking his rifle and waiting for the right opportunity to fire. 

There was a haze of gunfire that filled the room then, shots firing off from both sides. The alien they had found earlier was nowhere to be seen, having run off somewhere once the standoff had broken out. Locus looked over from his position and saw the two corpses, one completely still, the other slightly twitching from the shot that hadn’t killed but paralyzed...this was his fault. If he had just shot the creature, not let his hesitation get the better of him...if he hadn’t fallen to the role of bleeding heart over the faux-fright of the enemy, his two squadmates would still be alive.

Where was Felix at? His eyes instantly shot up and over, scanning the room in high-speed fashion. It was all slowly coming back to him, he wanted to change it. Maybe if he was fast enough he could change something...that’s why he was seeing this right? He was being given a second chance to make things right. So far, he had failed, but this time he wouldn’t let Felix get hurt.

That’s when a buzzer went off in his head...Felix had said something like that earlier, that ‘Locus wasn’t going to let him get hurt’. He had been trapped in this moment just like this, unable to do anything but determined to change his fate all the same.

But nothing changed. It was all going to play out the same way. His legs felt like lead blocks, his arms independent of his body and brain. In a rush, he yelled for Felix to move away from the wall; the orange-accented armor skirted away from that wall just in time to narrowly avoid a pounce from a Sangheili. But that move cost Felix his cover and he was out in the open. Shots rained down on him like hellfire as he dodged his way over to more cover. A well-aimed shot pierced his leg, a harsh enough wound to impair his movement and sent him stumbling around. That’s also when Felix realized he’d backed himself into a corner, a pile of destroyed remnants of the temple lay at his backside and an Elite at his front. The lone Elite was quickly joined by two more as Felix hopelessly clicked his gun’s triggers back and forth signifying he was out of ammo.

Locus looked over at the CO, waiting for the man to give some kind of order; this time, Locus would have listened without a doubt. But the man was silent...he was resolved to leave Felix to his fate. It was a clattering sound that brought Locus’s gaze back over to Felix; he had dropped his rifle, choosing not to use it as a club, and opted out for his knife. At this point in time, Felix had yet to obtain his signature, black-bladed knife, instead being stuck with a dull-edged hunting knife that did little good other than cutting rope, fruit, and skinning animals. There was no way it was sharp enough to pierce the Sangheili’s armor.

He wasn’t going to wait for them to tear Felix apart, he wasn’t going to let that happen to anyone. He shot first, taking one of them out almost instantly. Was it luck, or the rage-fueled adrenaline coursing through him that guided his shots? Felix took his cue during the confusion, using the slight distraction to his advantage as he rolled forward and grabbed the fallen Sangheili’s weapon, backing up just enough that the ricocheting plasma bullets wouldn’t effect him. 

Everyone dove for the nearest cover. Another haze of gunfire sprung up, the stench of death and gunpowder hung low in the air and only more was waiting to be added to it. Felix popped over his cover to take a shot, his bullets connecting with an enemy’s head. 

At that, the remaining Elite looked around and realized he was alone. He knew his best option was to retreat, something Locus was willing to let it do despite everything that happened...there was enough death already. As the Elite tried to flee, Felix vaulted over his cover and fired multiple rounds into the creature’s back, blood spraying out in tiny bursts before it finally fell, laying in a pool of it’s own blood. Without warning, Felix ran over and continued to fire another full clip into the already dead creature. 

Locus had already been moving, and once close enough to him, struggled to get the gun away, “Stop it, he’s already dead.”

“Oh fuck you S̸̢a̸̴ḿ͟҉͜ those things almost killed me!” he screamed back, fear filling his tone with no flippant attitude or clever comment to hide it. “Don’t ever tell me what to do! Motherfucker, this is your fault!” And with that he stormed off, limping, heading for the temple’s entrance, discarding the gun as he did so.

The edges of his vision were clouding...no, they were...burning...like scraps of papers thrown into a fireplace. His vision was curling and blackening at the edges as he stood there, watching Felix run for the entrance with the obvious limp he’d gotten from his injuries.

“...cus! Locus! Locus, come on! Come back, I didn’t mean to-...fuck! Locus don’t leave me alone here, come on!”

That was definitely Felix’s voice.

He blinked, his vision returning to normal. Felix was directly in front of him, seated between his legs with both hands planted on either side of his face, forcing Locus to look at him. His eyes were wavering, laced with concern, the normally unremarkable brown color was suddenly too alive then, not sharp enough to pierce through him like usual, but deep enough to fall into. There was thought and emotion that Locus had never seen the likes of before...it was oddly...calming.

Locus realized then that he was on the floor, or rather, the patio deck, with his back leaned up against the wall of the house. His own forehead had broken out into a sweat despite the cool breeze that normally run rampant through the mountains at night, and his muscles were sore and aching...they must have locked up when he-

“Locus!” Felix shook him again, small hands still holding his face.

He said nothing, just turned his gaze over to Felix and stared for a moment before closing his eyes, a prolonged gesture, as he nodded his head. He looked back down at Felix, wondering how long those eyes would stay...maybe they always looked like this and he never noticed?

Felix blinked, and his eyes were ‘gone’. He pulled his hands away also, quickly following up the action with a yell.

“Fuck Locus, can you do not... _do_... _that_? I didn’t know what the hell was going on and you just fell backwards...fuck, I didn’t mean to-...” Felix wasn’t great at apologies, Locus knew this first hand, even if he was genuinely sorry he’d never show it outwardly. And to be fair, Felix hadn’t done anything intentionally to set him off; even he himself had no idea the memory would take hold of him so harshly. He’d seen just what Felix had earlier, only, he was awake for the entire experience. He honestly couldn’t decide what must have been worse. 

Locus grabbed the back of his head and pulled him closer, kissing the side of his head to calm him down; his way of saying apology accepted, he supposed. Felix just grumbled and fell against him in response, “This is so stupid...fuck, I hate this. This so messed up that this shit keeps happening to us...”

“I know.” was all he could answer back. Maybe Felix was right, he did suck at talking like this. He knew what he wanted to say though, to tell Felix he didn't have to try and act strong for both of them but he knew that wouldn't go over well, no matter how he worded it. Still, there was something he just couldn't go on without knowing, “Do you...still blame me for what happened?”

“Yes Locus, I definitely still blame you, you know, saving my life and all.” Felix mumbled into his shirt, sarcasm full on in his tone. 

“Tell me the truth.”

“That is the truth, asshole. I was mad, okay? I got shot and pissed off at that thing and just said stupid stuff. I literally wouldn't be here right now if you hadn't shot that thing so...yeah. Fuck, what do you want from me?”

What did he want? An apology? A thank you? 

No, he just wanted Felix.

Felix sat up, wordlessly moved to grab either side of Locus’s face in his hands again, “Okay, I guess I suck at talking too but _thanks_...okay?” Dammit why was it so hard to just say ‘I'm sorry’ or even a real sounding thank you? Felix honestly didn't know but it pissed him off all the same. Being able to coerce and persuade through speech was one of the many things he prided himself on, so why was saying shit to Locus nearly impossible sometimes? Just once, he wanted to be able to tell Locus he couldn't live without him, that the idea of him dying or leaving was fucking unbearable, no matter how weak and shitty that was, it was true...but if Locus knew then Felix was sure Locus would leave. “Fuck, all I wanna do is go back to bed. Not sleep, just lay in bed.”

Locus was honestly surprised when Felix didn't ask to be carried, it seemed like a Felix-thing to do right about now. Still, like earlier, Felix didn't want to seem to let go of him as they climbed to their feet and headed back towards the bedroom. 

Neither of them would be sleeping for awhile, that much was sure. If sleep did happen to take him though, then so be it, as long as Felix was there beside him it didn’t matter what sorts of monsters his mind could conjure up.

**Author's Note:**

> My reason in writing this one is mostly just because I felt the flashback during the jungle temple part just always felt incomplete and just left me wondering how that entire scene ended. And basically this was born.


End file.
